If Life Were like a Fruit (Prose on Suicide)

Dying young is like eating an unripened fruit, dying at the right time is like eating a ripe fruit and if we follow the analogy dying too late is like eating a piece of fruit that’s gone off.

So when’s the best age to go? Have days when you don’t want to be here anymore? I do, and during those days I’m tempted to eat my fruit now. Is it as ripe as it could be? Well if I think my life can only get worse given how bitter it feels sometimes.

If I remember my fruit will only go off the longer I live, then this must be the sweetest my life will get? Or perhaps it’s passed, and that’s why it’s so bitter.

Why take your own life if like a fruit it’s not fully ripe?

I’m tempted to believe so. Ever feel like your life hasn’t got better; it has got worse. A few close friends, family, my uncle, my close older friend and a family friend have all said, to the effect of, life gets harder. Does the fruit get harder before it’s fully ripe though and bitter before it’s at its sweetest?

What of the 20s, I remember hearing that I was in the prime of life in my 20s. Yet, if we follow the analogy, wouldn’t this be the best age to eat our fruit and so take our own lives and die? The conventional belief we’re in the prime of life in our 20s mostly relates to our physical strength more than anything. Scientific studies have shown that we excel at specific skills at specific times throughout life (see footnote 1). If you can wait for your 80s to eat your fruit and you’ve looked after it, you’re likely to experience the most psychological wellbeing than at an earlier age. Like a fine wine, some things get better with age.

I’m 31. It feels like I’m overdue. I know I’m not alone in feeling this, perhaps that’s why suicide is the most significant cause of death for men under 35 (footnote 2).

How do I eat my fruit? How do I die? In the sweetest way possible. If I could eat one fruit before I die it would be a mango. If I could eat it anywhere, it would sit on a beach, in Palawan as the sun sets, under a sky of blues blended into yellows and oranges. Eating a mango on a beach won’t lead to my end unless it’s a poisoned mango or the tide sweeps me away.

All this got me thinking when death looms more as preoccupation at a young age and less as an impending likelihood such as old age, a terminal illness, why take your own life if it’s not fully ripe? If life will get sweeter?

Scientific studies have shown that we excel at specific skills at specific times throughout life

Why not delay the gratification because life isn’t at it’s most delicious yet. Personally, when I think of death, as much as I take comfort in it, instead I’m learning to visualise this place on a beach I’ve visited.

1. All the things you’re best at in your teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s. Business Insider. https://www.businessinsider.com/peak-ages-activities2018-4?r=US&IR=T. Published 2019. Accessed October 13, 2019. 2. Mental health statistics: suicide. Mental Health Foundation. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statistics/mental-health-statistics-suicide. Published 2019. Accessed October 13, 2019. ,